Self care to move forward in times of Sadness.
Yesterday I was sitting at my desk feeling tired and sad and my energy was so low. My body practically ached. I was like, this is sadness manifesting in the physical form. I'd taken in so much news about Orlando, absorbed all the sadness I read in social media posts and felt really lonely and disconnected. Even when I've been out and about in the last few days, the energy out on the streets is quiet and somber. I've asked others if they felt that lower energy and they recognize it too. The sadness is out in the zeitgeist, which is a good thing. Sadness and pain are motivators for change. I think it's bringing us together, more than it's pushing us apart.
I realized I didn't even shower or pray or meditate on Monday, something that I try to do every day. By Tuesday I felt so toxic and sluggish. In times like these, I realize, I can't take self care lightly. These are the times where I need to meditate more, move my body and get out into the world and stop isolating. I was isolating.
I stopped what I was doing -- feeling like shit wasn't serving myself or anyone. I got into the bath and just soaked and prayed and meditated. I found some random chakra balancing meditation on youtube. It lifted some of the gray haze and there was some comfort in the process. It may have realigned me to some degree. Here's the link to the video; it helped me.
Then I went to a yoga class and the teacher was literally talking about how when we feel sad, the body holds onto it and stores it, and if we don't move through it, we feel tired and achy. Mainly the fascia, the tissue under the muscle, hardens from negative emotion and non-movement. It has memory recall. So if we feel sad and don't move or process it, we feel pain. I thought that was kind of interesting and on point. I felt better after yoga. Perhaps, sitting on my couch binge watching news and not moving my body, are not the best thing for me right now.
Then, I went out to see friends. We had some dinner and laughed and I was like, I haven't laughed or socialized in a couple days. Connecting with other humans, I'm seeing, is very healing. It's like, I don't have to be at home alone feeling sad, I can get out into the world. By getting out and being with others, I forget about myself.
There was something else I felt drawn to last night. I'd seen pictures on Instagram of the I-35W bridge in Minneapolis, that goes over the Mississippi river, all lit up in Pride colors. It looked so beautiful and alluring, that I went on the hunt for it last night. Since I'm newer in town, I had no idea how to get there, and it's not exactly a destination on google maps. I was driving around downtown, I got lost -- I was on some dark and desolate road, which I wasn't sure was meant to be driven on, so I turned around...I just kept driving and little by little I started seeing more lights through the trees, and as I went around a bend, I could see this bridge, with the rainbow lights dancing. It actually stirred excitement inside of me. It felt hopeful. It felt prideful. It felt like love, the warm, inclusive love, that suggests, you are not alone. I got out and just starred at it, took some pictures and enjoyed the silence surrounding the view. There were others out taking pictures and we were all silent and appreciative. It was this unspoken moment that felt like, "Yea, I'm with you."
These lights are a very loving gesture. A supportive gesture. A genuine gesture. All around the world, bridges, buildings, monuments and store windows all have some sort of Pride color display. So many people are on board with this supportive movement to show solidarity. And it's a beautiful thing. There are more people in this world who love than hate, and it's at times like these, where the love spark inside us ignites and grows, and we come together. We are together.
Be good to yourself in these times. Take time to take care. Emotions can run us down, so find some quiet ways to keep your energy up, treat yourself and be good to everyone around you. Kindness and love will move us forward.