Douglas Marshall-MacDonald

#theworldofdoug

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The Bullsh*t Mac'n Cheese

The Bullsh*t Mac'n Cheese

The Bullsh*t Mac'n Cheese 

 It seemed like a good idea to make homemade Mac'n Cheese for New Year’s Dinner. I’m not much of a cook and I’m a disaster in the grocery store. Like, what is Romano vs. Asiago - Not even the lady in the fine cheese section knew. And we’re talking about $13 wedges of cheese. Help a sister out.  Then I got yellow cheddar and reread the recipe and it called for white cheddar. A pound of white cheddar. Hand grated. Am I Julie? Or Julia? 

 On the way home I realized I forgot butter. By the time I got back to the grocery store it was closed (early close on New Year’s Eve. Right.) I did find butter…In the drug store and waited in a line full of people buying lottery tickets.  

 Got home, laid it all out - Grated 3 cheeses (yes, Asiago was among them), ground the pepper, braised the Panko crumbs, boiled pasta, turned butter and flour into a rue, blended the milk, melted the cheese and folded the perfectly aldente elbow pasta into it all. I got it into the dish, topped with the Panko, baked it and my confidence rose. To the point that I tweeted about my masterpiece. Seven minutes too soon. 

 It all came crashing down in the final step! I folded during the recommended Panko broil to create the trusted “crust”. The 2 minutes broiling on high included a 1 minute look away to Facebook, which allowed for a small kitchen fire. My Mac'n Cheese caught on fire. Heaping flames. Ruined-ish. 

 The fire extinguisher was an option. But no. I worked too hard on this project. I dropped the flaming dish on the deck, beat it with a dish cloth to extinguish, threw half of it out, redistributed the bottom layer to a new dish, Repanko'ed and done. 

 I showered, bronzed and dressed up-ish JUST TO GET THIS PIC with my bullsh*t Mac'n Cheese. For a mobile upload! Vanity in the kitchen-an opportunity cost for sure! 

 The bottom line: 
-All the ingredients cost $100 
-Half was thrown out due to premature charring. 
-And really, how much can 2 people eat. 
-So really, most of its getting trashed. 
-Wouldn’t have changed a thing! 
-Happy New Year

The Bullsh*t Mac'n Cheese

It seemed like a good idea to make homemade Mac'n Cheese for New Year’s Dinner. I’m not much of a cook and I’m a disaster in the grocery store. Like, what is Romano vs. Asiago - Not even the lady in the fine cheese section knew. And we’re talking about $13 wedges of cheese. Help a sister out. Then I got yellow cheddar and reread the recipe and it called for white cheddar. A pound of white cheddar. Hand grated. Am I Julie? Or Julia?

On the way home I realized I forgot butter. By the time I got back to the grocery store it was closed (early close on New Year’s Eve. Right.) I did find butter…In the drug store and waited in a line full of people buying lottery tickets.

Got home, laid it all out - Grated 3 cheeses (yes, Asiago was among them), ground the pepper, braised the Panko crumbs, boiled pasta, turned butter and flour into a rue, blended the milk, melted the cheese and folded the perfectly aldente elbow pasta into it all. I got it into the dish, topped with the Panko, baked it and my confidence rose. To the point that I tweeted about my masterpiece. Seven minutes too soon.

It all came crashing down in the final step! I folded during the recommended Panko broil to create the trusted “crust”. The 2 minutes broiling on high included a 1 minute look away to Facebook, which allowed for a small kitchen fire. My Mac'n Cheese caught on fire. Heaping flames. Ruined-ish.

The fire extinguisher was an option. But no. I worked too hard on this project. I dropped the flaming dish on the deck, beat it with a dish cloth to extinguish, threw half of it out, redistributed the bottom layer to a new dish, Repanko'ed and done.

I showered, bronzed and dressed up-ish JUST TO GET THIS PIC with my bullsh*t Mac'n Cheese. For a mobile upload! Vanity in the kitchen-an opportunity cost for sure!

The bottom line:
-All the ingredients cost $100
-Half was thrown out due to premature charring.
-And really, how much can 2 people eat.
-So really, most of its getting trashed.
-Wouldn’t have changed a thing!
-Happy New Year

My neighbor is a hoarder. Which makes me a voyer.

My Essay on the benefits of Gabby Bernstein: Miracle Maker

My Essay on the benefits of Gabby Bernstein: Miracle Maker