The Bullsh*t Mac'n Cheese
It seemed like a good idea to make homemade Mac'n Cheese for New Year’s Dinner. I’m not much of a cook and I’m a disaster in the grocery store. Like, what is Romano vs. Asiago - Not even the lady in the fine cheese section knew. And we’re talking about $13 wedges of cheese. Help a sister out. Then I got yellow cheddar and reread the recipe and it called for white cheddar. A pound of white cheddar. Hand grated. Am I Julie? Or Julia?
On the way home I realized I forgot butter. By the time I got back to the grocery store it was closed (early close on New Year’s Eve. Right.) I did find butter…In the drug store and waited in a line full of people buying lottery tickets.
Got home, laid it all out - Grated 3 cheeses (yes, Asiago was among them), ground the pepper, braised the Panko crumbs, boiled pasta, turned butter and flour into a rue, blended the milk, melted the cheese and folded the perfectly aldente elbow pasta into it all. I got it into the dish, topped with the Panko, baked it and my confidence rose. To the point that I tweeted about my masterpiece. Seven minutes too soon.
It all came crashing down in the final step! I folded during the recommended Panko broil to create the trusted “crust”. The 2 minutes broiling on high included a 1 minute look away to Facebook, which allowed for a small kitchen fire. My Mac'n Cheese caught on fire. Heaping flames. Ruined-ish.
The fire extinguisher was an option. But no. I worked too hard on this project. I dropped the flaming dish on the deck, beat it with a dish cloth to extinguish, threw half of it out, redistributed the bottom layer to a new dish, Repanko'ed and done.
I showered, bronzed and dressed up-ish JUST TO GET THIS PIC with my bullsh*t Mac'n Cheese. For a mobile upload! Vanity in the kitchen-an opportunity cost for sure!
The bottom line:
-All the ingredients cost $100
-Half was thrown out due to premature charring.
-And really, how much can 2 people eat.
-So really, most of its getting trashed.
-Wouldn’t have changed a thing!
-Happy New Year