My neighbor is a hoarder. Which makes me a voyer.

NEIGHBORLY HOARDING
My name is Doug
I live on the 2nd Floor
I live across the street from you…and I think I’ve seen you before. Well, dumpster diving, to be exact..every Tuesday around 11pm on the eve of recycling day.

I watch you come out of your apartment building and sort through the clear plastic bags by the curb. Maybe you are the contentious super of the building, keeping up with codes. But probably not. You separate news papers; laying them out in piles on the steps, sorting and dividing. Some of those piles go back into the bags and some are carted to your apartment. I observe your art and respect it. It’s meticulously methodical and you search and sort tenderly with love. Your hobby is my entertainment…

Sometimes you catch me watching from my window. You can’t see who I am, but you see me looking. That’s on purpose. I want to see what you do when you know people can see your suspicious activity. I don’t phase you.

Are you a hoarder? Is your apartment a lending library of old New York Times’? Is this your secret world? Or are you a hoarding exhibitionist? Is it exciting to see what might be new in the bags every Tuesday? I get it. I sometimes look in the garbage room of my building to see if there’s anything good thrown out! It’s where I got a shoe rack and a full length steel framed mirror (a $500 value). So I get it. I do.

What I like about you the most is that everyday at 8:30am you head to work dressed very nicely. Professional. What do you do? Is your office orderly? Do you stay late to go through garbage pails after your co workers leave?

On Saturdays I see you leave your building in running attire. You have discipline and take care of yourself. Have you ever run a marathon?

I sometimes pass you on the street and I smile or say hi. You respond in kind with a generous smile. You’re great. You’re a comfort to the neighborhood. We’re a creepy neighbor match made in heaven. You’re a hoarder and I’m a “Peeping-Doug)…